Gosh, it’s nice not being depressed. It happened in the course of about half an hour the other evening and has been holding strong (barring a few hours this afternoon – a blip, I hope – thank you A~ for listening to me and picking me back up) for 4 days now (everyone touch wood, quickly!). Honestly, it’s awesome. Basically, depression is like banging your head against a brick wall – it’s just so nice when you stop. I’m enjoying life. All of it. Going to sleep, getting up, speaking to people, driving, being at work, coming home, watching the sunset in the Peaks (thank you S~ for suggesting a walk, it was just what I needed). It’s all awesome. I can feel the pleasure in it all. I’m writing this with the window open and I can feel the breeze coming in and hear the birds singing and I love it. Why was I ever depressed? I’m eating healthily, fuelling my awesome body that carries me around (okay, I may have accidentally inhaled a pain au chocolat or two, but I don’t care). I’m running, sleeping, all my senses are heightened. I’m getting lots of stuff done. I’m almost certainly driving my colleagues mad by being insufferably cheerful whilst everyone else is in end-of-term meltdown, but I don’t care. Yesterday was the first time in a while that I laughed so much my stomach ached. If you need a mental image, I’ve turned into the ‘Int milk brilliant’ character out of The Fast Show. Even the voice in my head (and it is just one now, thank God) is being friendly. She’s just happily narrating my day to day activities (and this blog). That’s definitely going on the list of ‘Oh, doesn’t everyone have that?’ Get BPD, get your own personal narration software for free. Awesome. And there’s so much to look forward to…. breakfast with J~, Sunday looking after Daisy Dog and drinking coffee while my friends suffer their way round the ‘Round Sheffield Run’ (yes, I did try for a place, but didn’t exactly cry when I missed out!) and lots and lots of other stuff.
So, whilst I’m on a roll, seems like a good time to update you lovely folks on my bucket list. There’s quite a few long-term ones that I’m working on, so don’t think I’m being slack! However, there are only two I can actually cross off at the moment.
#2 Reclaim my spare room. So, until a couple of weeks ago, my spare room was a ‘room of doom’. Why? Because it was storing a load of stuff belonging to my ex- of over 2 years ago. Now, admittedly, I am still looking after a fair bit of his stuff, but my spare room is now a beautiful office…… Incidentally, owing the acquisition of my first ever house mate (exciting!), I have had to evict a bit more of my ex’s stuff since then, including the world’s ugliest cheese plant. It is currently sat in my garden. If anyone would like to adopt a plant that looks like a reject from the Jurrasic World props department, please inbox me asap. Also, if anyone fancies stealing an ancient campervan off my driveway, I’ll help you get it started………….
My other tick on the list is #55 –spend the night in a haunted house. Okay, I did this in a slightly different way, but I’m still counting it! My lovely friends C&K bought me a place on a ghost hunt, which took place on Saturday night at an old fire station, which is now a museum. I want to just say thank you to them again. It was brilliant and I really enjoyed myself. Before you ask, no – I didn’t catch one; no – I didn’t see any convincing evidence of paranormal activity; yes – I’m fairly sure the woman was trying to ‘cold read’ me (good luck with that!); yes – I do think the guy was moving the glass around the table himself, using the amazing power of pushing it with his finger. That said, I am really glad I did it, I’ve never done anything like it before, and I found it fascinating.
So, that’s where we’re at………..if the powers that be could see fit to let this period of (almost) un-bridled un-depression continue for a bit longer, I would be ever so grateful.
I’m going to finish with one of my favourite quotes from one of my favourite TV programmes ever (If you have never seen Takin’ Over the Asylum, I demand that you drop whatever you are doing right now and go watch it).
“Are you sure you’re not manic?”
“I’m inspired, Eddie.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Inspired is when you think you can do anything. Manic is when you know it.”
See you all soon 😀