How not to kill yourself – one bucket list item at a time
Trigger warning: Some discussion of suicidal feelings and planning, one brief reference to methods. Fortunately, I’m not too worried about labels, so I wasn’t upset this week when my psychologist told me that I was psychotic and retarded. I’m half joking. She was most concerned that I understood and was not upset by the words.... Continue Reading →
So, my last blog ended with me driving away from A&E in the back of a car with 2 staff from the Crisis Team. If this was a short story, that is where we would leave things. Nice cliff-hanger. Full of possibilities. But life isn’t like that. You don’t get to skip past the crap,... Continue Reading →
Trigger warning: I’m going to tell you about the antecedents to my first stay in residential psychiatric care. Inevitably (for me) this involves some fairly in-depth description of planning my suicide. So, if you think in any way that this is going to be triggering for you, just give it a miss. Please? For me?... Continue Reading →
Gosh, it’s nice not being depressed. It happened in the course of about half an hour the other evening and has been holding strong (barring a few hours this afternoon - a blip, I hope - thank you A~ for listening to me and picking me back up) for 4 days now (everyone touch wood,... Continue Reading →
A couple of weeks ago my friend D~, looking genuinely upset, said that he ‘wanted the old Caroline back’. That one has really stuck with me. It hurt, almost a physical sensation of being stabbed in the chest, not because I think he shouldn’t have said it, but because I agree with him. The problem... Continue Reading →
Trigger warning: The opinions expressed in this post are from the point of view of someone who is suicidal and therefore may not be rational. If you think you may be triggered by this, please don’t read on. It’s mostly inane drivel anyway. Go and do something else instead. Seriously. Anything. Cut your toenails or... Continue Reading →
So, I didn’t write a blog post last week. It was a bit of a tough week, one way and another, so I just …. didn’t. Anyway, I'm back to full ranting power this week, so… Over the last few days, I have been experiencing rapid mood cycling. It is an utterly ridiculous and exhausting... Continue Reading →
A friend of mine commented that she couldn’t really hear my voice in my post about receiving my diagnosis (Diagnosis & a Donut). I don’t mind at all that she said this, I think she is right. So, I got to pondering why that was. Perhaps I should have ‘fessed up at the time of... Continue Reading →
The theme of DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy) this week is radical acceptance. I have to think of examples of things that have happened/are happening that I find difficult and carry out exercises to achieve acceptance. In part, this involves using particular postures and facial expressions, so it has the added bonus of making me look... Continue Reading →
