Dead Man’s Curve

Trigger warning:  Some discussion of suicidal feelings and planning, one brief reference to methods.  Fortunately, I’m not too worried about labels, so I wasn’t upset this week when my psychologist told me that I was psychotic and retarded. I’m half joking. She was most concerned that I understood and was not upset by the words.... Continue Reading →

And…. I’m back in the room

Gosh, it’s nice not being depressed.  It happened in the course of about half an hour the other evening and has been holding strong (barring a few hours this afternoon - a blip, I hope - thank you A~ for listening to me and picking me back up) for 4 days now (everyone touch wood,... Continue Reading →

Catch 22 – How to not die

Last week I wrote about why I stay alive. Today I want to talk about how I stay alive. So, let’s imagine that you’ve thought about the reasons for not committing suicide and you’ve decided not to kill yourself.  I have been through that process maybe 4 or 5 times in my life (not really... Continue Reading →

Pros and cons – a letter to my future self

Trigger warning: Contains discussion about advantages and disadvantages of suicide Mum “So, what was your homework from DBT this week?” Me (cheerfully) “To write a list of pros and cons of killing myself.” Mum “Oh” So, I guess that probably isn’t a common mother/daughter Wednesday night phone call.  But seriously, what does she think we... Continue Reading →

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